Freaking mess
the nicest thing i heard during the Kagan workshop i had to attend this wednesday and thursday was a remark by this female teacher i met:
"during my first five years, i taught a lot of wrong things. but the kids know that you are trying"
a warm balm to my battered soul
I'll drop any pretences and admit that i'm darn freaking tired of PW. it's an endless cycle of work--EOM, WR, I & R, EOM, WR, you get my point
i have no right to complain. other YJ teachers had it worse, juggling 3 classes along with CT-ship. i only have 2 classes and am kinda flying under the radar for Student's Council (haha).
then why am i subjecting my kiddos to endless drafting? am i seriously ineffective in instruction delivery or what?
"see! you didn't follow the structure of the handout i gave the class"
"yes, you followed the structure but you wrote irrelevant things. rubbish!"
"i won't accept this example. this is too isolated!"
"who cares about your prospective interviewee? he is just a small fry!"
"this is freaking messy! i have to search for your points all over the place!"
it breaks my heart when i have to tell them that this is Band 4 work when they were so proud of themselves for churning out a WR
it breaks my heart when i look at some of their Block Test results and have to ask them to work harder for PW when they should be focusing on the immediate bread-and-butter issue of getting promoted to JC2
it breaks my heart when i know that most of them aren't great in GP but can't devote time to teaching them more GP because PW is a national examination. i dread the thought that some of them won't make it for their promos. but i can't have Band 3s on my conscience
it breaks my heart because i am both their GP and PW teacher and i can't give up because i have all they have and i won't give up because i don't like to think that i'm running away from my problems but the thought that my best may not be enough haunts me constantly
how?
well, a good night's sleep and tomorrow is another day. haha.
the nicest thing i heard during the Kagan workshop i had to attend this wednesday and thursday was a remark by this female teacher i met:
"during my first five years, i taught a lot of wrong things. but the kids know that you are trying"
a warm balm to my battered soul
I'll drop any pretences and admit that i'm darn freaking tired of PW. it's an endless cycle of work--EOM, WR, I & R, EOM, WR, you get my point
i have no right to complain. other YJ teachers had it worse, juggling 3 classes along with CT-ship. i only have 2 classes and am kinda flying under the radar for Student's Council (haha).
then why am i subjecting my kiddos to endless drafting? am i seriously ineffective in instruction delivery or what?
"see! you didn't follow the structure of the handout i gave the class"
"yes, you followed the structure but you wrote irrelevant things. rubbish!"
"i won't accept this example. this is too isolated!"
"who cares about your prospective interviewee? he is just a small fry!"
"this is freaking messy! i have to search for your points all over the place!"
it breaks my heart when i have to tell them that this is Band 4 work when they were so proud of themselves for churning out a WR
it breaks my heart when i look at some of their Block Test results and have to ask them to work harder for PW when they should be focusing on the immediate bread-and-butter issue of getting promoted to JC2
it breaks my heart when i know that most of them aren't great in GP but can't devote time to teaching them more GP because PW is a national examination. i dread the thought that some of them won't make it for their promos. but i can't have Band 3s on my conscience
it breaks my heart because i am both their GP and PW teacher and i can't give up because i have all they have and i won't give up because i don't like to think that i'm running away from my problems but the thought that my best may not be enough haunts me constantly
how?
well, a good night's sleep and tomorrow is another day. haha.
minnasan, gambatte!
posted by heng at 9:00 PM
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