well done, Mr Heng! 12.30am now and suddenly I feel the urge to blog.
I think one of the things that I appreciate most about being a GP tutor is my enhanced ability to construct a musing from random pieces of information. kinda like puzzle solving, i guess except that i am working with pieces from disparate puzzles.
lame analogy aside, various things struck my mind recently
an hour break before the next consultation and i found myself pondering about life with joseph, le lin and jacintha. never expected le lin to be so cautious about weighing her options-always thought she's a bit of a daredevil. jac's apprehensive about making the wrong choice while joseph was amused at how pragmatic they sounded.
it's tragic how i only got to talk cock sing song with my students after their graduation ceremony. but well, better late than never. it made me realise how i don't have inhibitions when i really set my mind to do something. i mean, it just doesn't affect me whether i would have sufficient money set aside for my health care costs.
a colleague told me today how he placed $18k as downpayment for his new car. This is exactly why I don't want to buy a car. The very thought of not being able to travel hurts, almost literally. This i know, because I found myself envious as I patronised my ex-CT's blog and read how she is gonna teach in Scotland (Way to go, Kelly!). It ouch-ed a bit more. I wanna marry my work and joy for travel together too! Beijing was good but not the best. Laos was the best but I wanna travel further!
ya, I'm trying to find peace in the here and now too. i'm largely contented, i think but there's this hunger for adventure within me that appears to be insatiable. i hope it remains controllable so that it doesn't destroy me one day. haha.
another colleague remarked how she does things so as not to let herself emo too much. so, she woke up at 4am to prepare for her consultation sessions. it's like, woah! i am not so sure if i am an advocate of using work to suppress one's emotions. i mean, i kinda like to emo even if i am exasperated about the lack of clarity and direction my life is going:) there you go, i am process-oriented. i wonder how i turned out to be that way since Singapore is so freaking result-oriented.
someone i know wrote about how she feels she disappointed her kids. feelings of guilt kinda stirred at me when 218 was still merrily cracking jokes during the consultation. i figure, it's crunch time, you know? i would have split them into two groups if it weren't for students from another class. 218 probably saw it as a golden opportunity to relieve stress and enjoy one another's company but ya, i should have known better. i would never never have consultations with such a big group of them again.
i think the sulkiest part about being a teacher is that when you lack time, you have to prioritise who to direct your energies on. focus on securing the quality grades, a friend advised. but it goes against my intuition. i would much rather distribute fair attention to everyone, even if one group does not benefit as much as other groups. i like it that i feel that i am trying my best and my best is good enough because the rest is up to each individual to pull their socks.
ironically, i feel that i have more time and space to emo and reminisce about life when my kids are engrossed in arguably the biggest challenge of their lives. ha!
photo of the day: new school uniforms for YJ?
I think one of the things that I appreciate most about being a GP tutor is my enhanced ability to construct a musing from random pieces of information. kinda like puzzle solving, i guess except that i am working with pieces from disparate puzzles.
lame analogy aside, various things struck my mind recently
an hour break before the next consultation and i found myself pondering about life with joseph, le lin and jacintha. never expected le lin to be so cautious about weighing her options-always thought she's a bit of a daredevil. jac's apprehensive about making the wrong choice while joseph was amused at how pragmatic they sounded.
it's tragic how i only got to talk cock sing song with my students after their graduation ceremony. but well, better late than never. it made me realise how i don't have inhibitions when i really set my mind to do something. i mean, it just doesn't affect me whether i would have sufficient money set aside for my health care costs.
a colleague told me today how he placed $18k as downpayment for his new car. This is exactly why I don't want to buy a car. The very thought of not being able to travel hurts, almost literally. This i know, because I found myself envious as I patronised my ex-CT's blog and read how she is gonna teach in Scotland (Way to go, Kelly!). It ouch-ed a bit more. I wanna marry my work and joy for travel together too! Beijing was good but not the best. Laos was the best but I wanna travel further!
ya, I'm trying to find peace in the here and now too. i'm largely contented, i think but there's this hunger for adventure within me that appears to be insatiable. i hope it remains controllable so that it doesn't destroy me one day. haha.
another colleague remarked how she does things so as not to let herself emo too much. so, she woke up at 4am to prepare for her consultation sessions. it's like, woah! i am not so sure if i am an advocate of using work to suppress one's emotions. i mean, i kinda like to emo even if i am exasperated about the lack of clarity and direction my life is going:) there you go, i am process-oriented. i wonder how i turned out to be that way since Singapore is so freaking result-oriented.
someone i know wrote about how she feels she disappointed her kids. feelings of guilt kinda stirred at me when 218 was still merrily cracking jokes during the consultation. i figure, it's crunch time, you know? i would have split them into two groups if it weren't for students from another class. 218 probably saw it as a golden opportunity to relieve stress and enjoy one another's company but ya, i should have known better. i would never never have consultations with such a big group of them again.
i think the sulkiest part about being a teacher is that when you lack time, you have to prioritise who to direct your energies on. focus on securing the quality grades, a friend advised. but it goes against my intuition. i would much rather distribute fair attention to everyone, even if one group does not benefit as much as other groups. i like it that i feel that i am trying my best and my best is good enough because the rest is up to each individual to pull their socks.
ironically, i feel that i have more time and space to emo and reminisce about life when my kids are engrossed in arguably the biggest challenge of their lives. ha!
photo of the day: new school uniforms for YJ?
posted by heng at 12:26 AM
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