I have been working tonight for quite some time. grading papers. planning lessons. preparing handouts. got certain things accomplished but I still feel like some malevolent force is gripping my heart, squeezing the life out of me.
I wish I don't have to lead this highly disciplined life. ticking off the to-do list one by one, strategising time to fulfill the remaining tasks, trying to remain on top of things.
in my final hour before bedtime, i decided to write this to The Straits Times.
~~~~~~~
Although I work as an English teacher, I will choose to speak Mandarin at home.
While the left brain in me appreciates how I can utilise the English Language to marshal my thoughts and write coherent commentaries systematically, I find that I leverage Mandarin more when it comes to matters of the heart, for I feel that it allows me to express my emotions that really reflects my inner core. The same goes for communicating with others. I use English to assert my views during formal meetings but readily switch to Mandarin in informal gatherings when I update friends on my life and ponder its direction.
My preference for Mandarin has little to do with the rise of China as an economic powerhouse. I like Mandarin for the way the rich spiritual and cultural psyche of the Chinese can be crystallised within 4-word idioms. I am grateful to Mandarin for expanding my mind as its emphasis on Confucian virtues neatly balances my belief in self-actualisation and autonomy-values that I have harnessed from the English-speaking world.
My proficiency in both languages allows me to be sensitive to Western and Eastern influences and to synergise the best, furthering my quest to become a balanced individual. And this is something I would not want my children to miss.
~~~~~~~~
Writing this actually helped to calm me down.
I love writing. I am the general; words are my weapons. And I command them to express something that is uniquely mine. I like the space it provides me to explore my thoughts. I like the sense of fulfillment i derive when i get something pinned down
I wonder if i have been able to transmit such passion for writing to my students. haha.
off to bed. tomorrow is the start of term 2. God bless. good luck. yadda dadda. :)
I wish I don't have to lead this highly disciplined life. ticking off the to-do list one by one, strategising time to fulfill the remaining tasks, trying to remain on top of things.
in my final hour before bedtime, i decided to write this to The Straits Times.
~~~~~~~
Although I work as an English teacher, I will choose to speak Mandarin at home.
While the left brain in me appreciates how I can utilise the English Language to marshal my thoughts and write coherent commentaries systematically, I find that I leverage Mandarin more when it comes to matters of the heart, for I feel that it allows me to express my emotions that really reflects my inner core. The same goes for communicating with others. I use English to assert my views during formal meetings but readily switch to Mandarin in informal gatherings when I update friends on my life and ponder its direction.
My preference for Mandarin has little to do with the rise of China as an economic powerhouse. I like Mandarin for the way the rich spiritual and cultural psyche of the Chinese can be crystallised within 4-word idioms. I am grateful to Mandarin for expanding my mind as its emphasis on Confucian virtues neatly balances my belief in self-actualisation and autonomy-values that I have harnessed from the English-speaking world.
My proficiency in both languages allows me to be sensitive to Western and Eastern influences and to synergise the best, furthering my quest to become a balanced individual. And this is something I would not want my children to miss.
~~~~~~~~
Writing this actually helped to calm me down.
I love writing. I am the general; words are my weapons. And I command them to express something that is uniquely mine. I like the space it provides me to explore my thoughts. I like the sense of fulfillment i derive when i get something pinned down
I wonder if i have been able to transmit such passion for writing to my students. haha.
off to bed. tomorrow is the start of term 2. God bless. good luck. yadda dadda. :)
posted by heng at 11:48 PM
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