Narcissism

looking at the photos my travel companion has kindly taken of me, i suppose i'm more hyped-up about my latest trip than i previously thought. i realise that at the end of the day, it doesn't matter if the trip is deluged with k-drama filming sites or cheong theme parks or lacklustre food. i'm travelling with a friend and that's what counts...

looking spastic at da chang jin filming site

confidence pretence

pseudo-culture experiences

snow on our last day in korea! blessings counted

i'm actually quite happy to return to shanghai

overexposed but i still like. haha

and finally...

ohmygawd! sugoi! dai suki desu!

Rest of the world, here i come. Grinz.

i think the best part about travelling is that you are temporarily and spatially released from the shackles of everyday living.

it's not that i don't like teaching. i feel honoured that i'm in this position to have the potential to help people, real people. my only gripe about it is that while i am helping others to uncover and pursue their dreams, my own aspirations remain relegated to the sideline.

am i selfish for desiring to do something for myself, for viewing the notion that teaching is a vocation/lifetime calling with skepticism? then again, these concerns don't really matter because i think that when my bond ends, i will be too hum ji to quit teaching and venture into the big bad world anyway

this Dec trip is memorable in the sense that it makes me feel more upbeat about my resolve to chart my life. perhaps because i am already immersed in a foreign environment, i feel that if the push really comes to shove in the future, i will be brave enough to ditch all these soul-sapping insecurities and just leave my comfort zone.

i have these things that i wish to accomplish in this lifetime:

--to backpack around the world
--to teach in a foreign land (either Japan or Thailand)
--to do something related to the mass media: journalist/travel journalist/photojournalist/columnist/PR executive
--to get a Masters in Mass Comm and/or a Diploma in Translation Studies
--to open my fashion store comprising goodies i painstakingly source from pasar malangs all over the world (erm, i don't think this will ever materialise. haha)

whenever people ask me of my plans if i decide to quit teaching, i hew and haw, hiding behind a vague "i don't know. go with the flow lor". actually, i have always known. it's just that i am apprehensive that people will deride me for being unrealistic.

i think it's a telling sign of age that i am finally able to come out in the open (sounds wrong. haha) and admit that i crave for this, this, this and that. which is somewhat ironic since i have always been shamelessly thick-skinned, according to some sources. haha. it's okay if people laugh at me. because my dreams are i have...

*****
the first thing i came to hear after coming back is that a YJCian, Bo Han passed on

he was a sporty and fit guy.
his life before him
shimmering with possibilities
unexpectedly.
a burst vessel in his brain.
senseless
incomprehensible

life is far too short
not to cherish your loved ones,
not to do the things you wanna do,
not to just survive but live

Rose among the thorns

it does not take much deductive reasoning to infer that these guys would be "sabo-ed" to cross-dress later. well, this prom night escapade certainly made for a spontaneous, fun-filled night. the sole girl in this photo was asked to pass all her items to a guy friend before the challenge began.

easily an Exceeding Expectations Prom Night

the wunnerful people who made it happen